This week we started with a complete day in nature. No talking. No personal reflection. We were strongly encouraged to focus in the work of observing the world around us and to experience the world simply as us moving through it.
Packed our food for the day the night before and woke up at 4:45 to meet at 5:45 at River Campus. Once there we took our silence and headed on a path through the darkness and stars to the river where we sat and waited. And waited. It was very, very cold. There was a moment when I just wanted to scream at the sun "COME ON ALREADY!" But I didn't and of course it rose and when it did, a warmth grew all over. I immediately smiled and felt warm. The world had color again, literally...everything was black, white, and gray until the sun came out. After this we headed to Patrick's Point for cliffs and crashing waves. This was my favorite spot. I found my own little perch high on the largest rock where the sun hit and the ocean air was brisk and free. Here I could just be. And that felt good. Next was Fern's Canyon, where I took a mini shower in a waterfall and cuddled with some Redwoods. This location had the cleanest, purest air. You feel fresh when you leave this place. Sunset happened where the Mad River empties into the ocean. It was beautiful and calm. The moments that filled the time at the ocean, I will never forget. It was one of the most powerful experiences I have ever had.
One thing that really stuck with me on Monday was that the past is gone. Done. Everything is ahead of me. Death is coming. And we need to make theater like everyday is the last. With all we have, while we can.
The rest of the week followed Nature Day. Our P-Lab (performance lab) for Friday was based on this.
Assignment was to show our experience for Nature day. And we struggled. We have been playing with the concept of being nature and being these natural elements. It is difficult because nature just is. It is not trying to be something else. It is nature. We are working toward "being". Not imitating or representing, but being. Our P-Lab did not go well as we all fell into making a nice little presentation-show-thing from beginning to end of our day. This was fine, but not what we are striving for here. Anywhere else, it would have been good. People would applaud it. But here is where we push to the edge and aim to have audiences leaving asking, "what just happened" or hopefully lead them to asking bigger questions about the world and themselves. So, we have it assigned for next week. But in this failure, I was not discouraged, but challenged to go further and leap into the unknown and struggle, because here is where we grow.
One of the more powerful moments of the week, was when we practiced "seeing-seeing". I was familiar with this exercise from a workshop at KC-ACTF that Matt Chapman and Nicholette Routhier led. This exercise is what pulled me to Dell Arte in the first place. In this exercise, you walk around a room with an awareness of the space and people around you. Once you make eye contact with a person, you stop and look into one another's eyes. Then you move onto the next person. Sometimes these interactions last 5 minutes, other times 30 seconds. But you would be surprised what you learn about a person in this. You get past the things people project to the world and get to the soul. You have conversations. One thing is for sure, that this inspires a great sense of vulnerability and love. You can't help but fall in love with everyone you meet. And it really is baring your soul and laying it out there. It creates a greater level of understanding and trust. Our ensemble definitely felt more like a unite after that.
I continue to struggle with trying so hard to make sense of everything. I'm fixed on the idea that there is a right way to do something or that I can accomplish exercises done in class. When rather, it is that we need to experience it by being present and coming to class with hands open. Not grasping to make sense of it all, but allowing it to come and go. A student in the MFA program, who is in her third year, told me that majority of the things we do will not make sense. And won't make sense until years later. Ronlin continues to challenge us intellectually while Joe works with the physical body. It is an appreciated contrast, but both very very exhausting.
We have started work with handstands and headstands. In this one week, I feel like muscles are being used that haven't been used since my gymnastic years. It is good to be back in this upside-down work. We are also running three 5k's a week along with circuit training consisting of versions of push ups, sit ups and pull ups.
We worked in vocal class and poetic voice this week too. Vocal will challenge me as I continue to fight with confidence issues singing. Poetic I really enjoy, because we've been learning that what links people to stories are images. So we've been sharing with one another descriptive writings in class and playing with reading in an engaging way. That we want to share this with our fellows.
Anywho. Week two done. I've been gone two weeks and it feels like two months. Everything is a whirl wind, but it is a great place to be and I certainly don't mind.
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